Episode 151: Geronimo: Pure Apache Revenge!

This episode is brought to you by El Yucateco

On this Sofa King Podcast, we go back to the Old West and talk about the guerrilla-style Apache war leader, Geronimo. Sure, people say his name as they skydive or jump off a high diving board, but why? Because this guy was the ultimate warrior, waging a private revenge-fueled hit and run war with the Mexican and American armies for over sixty years! At one point, he was considered by white settlers to be “the worst Indian who ever lived.”

Why? Because he was just that good. His raiding group was usually only between fifteen and eighty people, but he would take on entire armies using his tactics of silence, ambush, and instilling fear in the hearts of his enemies. He was just as good at traditional combat as he was at psychological warfare, and for every time he was captured, he escaped to wage more war.

After his wife Alope, his children, and mother were slaughtered by Mexican soldiers outside of Kas-Ki-Yes, he supposedly heard a voice come from the stack of the dead. It said, “No gun will ever kill you. I will take the bullets from the guns of the Mexicans…and I will guide your arrows.” From that point, he fought fearlessly, and his myth grew. They said he could walk without leaving footprints, could never be shot by a bullet, could see the future, and could even heal the sick.

By the time they brought him in, he was being pursued by one fourth of the entire US Army and an equal number of the Mexican Army. He was truly public enemy number one, but nobody could find him, kill him, or stop him. Even other Apache chiefs such as Cochise could only contain his rage for small periods of peace at a time, before he would go back to doing what he did best—getting revenge! How many people did he kill? How did he finally die? Why was he in President Roosevelt’s inaugural parade? What did he say about his surrender to the white man when he was 90 years old? Listen, laugh, learn.

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